Abmdcsr07

Peter|GM: Anyway, so, the beach. Beautiful sun and white sand that glitters like diamonds. Reeds of dune-grass waver in a beautiful breeze. The surf is high.
Peter|GM: This -specific- beach is on a famous resort planet that is, in fact, one of the largest frog habitats in the galaxy.
Peter|GM: And it's about to be razed for a fitness center by the pangalactic construction company, zeCORP.
Lin raises a hand over her eyes as she squints at the descending ship in the distance. "Looks like things are about to get rolling."
Peter|GM: Whose CEO, having been challenged to a sort of competition, is a total douche.
Peter|GM: That about sums it up, right?
Hamaris is sitting just behind Lin, surprisingly wearing only cargo shorts "What's rolling?"
Lin glances over her shoulder before giving a grin. "The competition of course. You're conscripted, by the way."
Hamaris: "Oh, yay competition! What's it about?"
Lin: "Beach games, probably. We challenged the CEO to a competition with high stakes. If we lose this one we're going to regret it."
Hamaris: "Ooh, sounds fun! I haven't been to the beach in…"
Lin: "He brought in some mercenaries we ran into a while back. I don't believe you're familiar with them."
Hamaris: "Literally forever!"
Mudouma ambles behind Hamaris, wearing blindingly colourful print-fabric shorts and dark, kind of dorky shades balanced on his snout.
Lin chews at her lip before gesturing to the sand. "You're on one right now, Hamaris."
Hamaris: "I-i noticed!"
Hamaris: "I think…"
Mudouma: "Yeah! This is a beach! This is, like, the Platonic ideal of a beach, honestly. It's a little unnerving."
Hamaris: "It is pretty great!"
Hamaris: "I wonder what you actually do at a beach"
Aurelius: "You should visit the other 99.99% of the planet."
Aurelius: "Nothing but swamp and frogs," he says, from his outstretched position on a towel over the sand.
And under an umbrella.
Jorule: "The entire place kinda sucks, yeah."
Aurelius: "And you can do whatever you want- some prefer to be active, I make doing nothing look like enlightenment."
Mudouma: "Hey, swamps are nice, too. If you're a frog, at any rate."
Hamaris: "Swamps do sound pretty great for frogs, but rather buggy for me, really!"
Lin crosses her arms, glancing at the others. "It's only sucking because nobody wants to do anything. If I wanted to lay down and tan I'd go to one of those stations it's a lot faster."
Hamaris looks at Lin "What do you do at a beach though? We could go do it!"
Mudouma pulls a beach ball out from, basically, nowhere feasible, and throws it at Hamaris.
Lin: "I already suggested volleyball but Aurelius and Jorule just kind of stared at me."
Aurelius: "Ah, that I could do."
Aurelius curls and rolls forward into a stand.
Lin: "Lonely Tails is laying down over there too, by the way. Should say hi."
Hamaris bounces the ball back up in the air, then bats it at Lin
Hamaris: "I saw her! She seemed busy, though"
Peter|GM: She totally is, by the way. (She's reading a book and everything.)
Peter|GM: Anyway, I'll be right back, then I'll actually start running a session. Have fun until then, I'm getting a turnover and so on.
Peter|GM: We have some blood orange soda too, probably a can of that.
Lin bumps it into the air before swatting it right at Jorule. :/
Aurelius: "Right, well-" He opens up a compartment in his stomach-area and pulls out a soda. "-we still have that net in the cargo hold?"
Mudouma: "Man, Hamaris. Nobody can be busy on a beach, that's kinda the point."
Jorule turns his hea din lonely tail's directino, tilts his head down just enough so that his sunglasses slide down his nose a little bit, then gives her a flat, meaningful stare before shaking his head, knocking the ball back towards Lin with his braid.
Hamaris: "Really?"
Mudouma: "Really!"
Lin catches the ball and places a hand on her hip irritated. "Braid hitting isn't even a legal move!"
Hamaris: "Wow, beaches are kinda magical, then"
Jorule: "It's not an illegal move either, and anyway, who said I cared.:
Lin: "And yeah, it's still there."
Aurelius nods to Lin and trundles off to get it, which doesn't take very long because screw typing all that out.
Lin: "Rules are important, Jorule. We're going to have to follow them in the competition today unless you want us to get disqualified."
Mudouma: "Beaches are the most magical places in the universe." Dead serious face.
Lin: "Wrong, actually. There's no mana here."
Jorule: "I am totally calling dibs on the guy from the protagonist team that loses the match to build tension."
Jorule: "So."
Lin: "Like, literally no mana."
Jorule: "There's mana. Just not in the CEO's section."
Aurelius: "I will grant that, Jorule, if only you put some effort into losing."
Hamaris blinks "Isn't that different from how it's supposed to work?"
Aurelius: "Or, y'know, at least over-the-top fake it."
Mudouma: "Then that section isn't a beach after all, and we can disqualify -them- based on a technicality!"
Aurelius goes *shunk shunk* and the net is set up along two poles!
Hamaris looks at the net "Ooh, what's that one for?"
Aurelius: "Volley Ball!"
Aurelius: "Wherein the goal is teams of 2 volley the ball over the net and try to have it hit the ground."
Hamaris: "Oooh"
Hamaris: "that's why it's called volley ball, I get it"
Aurelius: "You get it."
Aurelius: "There's the bump, and the set, and the spike… then the lob…" He sort of shows off the motions, locked fingers with a forearm bump, double upward palm thrust, jumping smash!
Hamaris nods as Aurelius shows "That sounds complicated, kinda"
Aurelius: "And sometimes, you just gotta dive for it!"
Hamaris: "Exciting"
Aurelius: "So… never been to the beach? It must be weird, having never been but having seen the ocean from space."
Hamaris: "Well, I've never been to a beach"
Hamaris: "But I think i've been to the ocean before?"
Hamaris: "I'm not sure how that works but it was kinda like that!"
Mudouma: "Hey, I mean… they say space is an ocean."
Aurelius: "Did you get fished up or something?" He maneuvers to one side of the net, gesturing towards Lin and the ball.
Mudouma: "But if it is, it's one without a beach, so…"
Lin glances at Aurelius. "I'm not sure what you're asking, honestly. I've been to a beach before."
Aurelius: "No, I mean- the ball."
Hamaris stays over on Aurelius' side "W-well, no. I'm still not sure"
Jorule shakes his head.
Lin narrows her brow for a moment before taking a few steps back. "You think you can take me?" She juggles the ball in her hand idly with a smirk.
Mudouma: "Aww, Hamaris. Gettin' all shy."
Aurelius: "Consider it a warm-up," he smirks.
Lin does a practice swing before serving the ball to the far back part of the make shift court. "Don't say I didn't warn you." [Running: 90 CoS Aurelius :3]
Aurelius rolled 1d100 and got 82 ( Total: 82 ) for if you say so (100)
Aurelius glides back and bumps the ball into the air. "Hamaris, look alive for the set!"
Hamaris: "Oh, oh!" he looks at the ball, wait, it's going to the other side now
Aurelius: "Oh, hm, did I hit it too hard?" [Grace 90]
Lin takes a few steps forward positioning herself for a bump straight up into the air. "Grace? Your requirements are picky."
Lin rolled 1d100 and got 38 ( Total: 38 )
Aurelius: "Like you have anything but Technical."
Lin: "God am I seriously by myself on this side? Mudouma spike this ball at them or something and declare a skill check."
Jorule glances back at Lonely Tails, mumbles something under his breath.
Aurelius: "Hamaris, I'm counting on you to make that check. It's up to you!!"
Hamaris: "O-okay!"
Mudouma: "It's important to be graceful. Beach volleyball is really for the audience, isn't it?" He nudges his head at Jorule, meaningfully, before darting over and spiking the ball towards Hamaris with a mischevious look in his eye. [Strength 90]
Hamaris looks at the ball coming into his direction and panics a little, then he puts his hands together and just kind of blindly intercepts it from below
Hamaris rolled 1d100 and got 30 ( Total: 30 )
Hamaris bounces the ball way, way high as it arcs lazily over to the other side [Jumping 90]
Lin rolled 1d100 and got 35 ( Total: 35 )
Lin quickly takes a few steps to the back of the court giving herself a running start. She jumps into the air and spikes the ball back across the net.
Mudouma: "Yeah! That's how you do it!
Lin: "C'mon guys you can do better than that."
Aurelius dives forward- and you can see his fists extend with the help of his chains, to intercept the ball!
From hitting the ground, soaring back up towards Hamaris…
Aurelius: "HAMARIS-!!" [Determination 30]
Hamaris bounces a little on his feet, jumps and strikes the ball!
Hamaris rolled 1d100 and got 37 ( Total: 37 )
Hamaris strikes it- except he's… Short. Net.
Mudouma: "D'awwww."
Aurelius speaks from his bellyflop on the sand. "And that's the power of volleyball."
Lin: "Mmm-hm."
Hamaris: "That's"
Hamaris: "Kind of amazing!
Lin: "To be fair I'm not sure it's your kind of sport, Ham. You're short and slow, after all."
Peter|GM: At about that time, the arrivals walk past - familiar faces: Mercade, Treo, and Luiz, from back on Sandwich Planet. Luiz wears only blue board shorts, whereas Treo's wearing an open white dress shirt, panama hat and speedo. Mercade, at least, is out of her power armor, and wearing sandals and a sun-dress.
Aurelius pushes himself up to a standing position. "Yo."
Lin offers a cheerful wave. "Glad you could make it. Heard you were coming out this way."
Peter|GM: "Yo." Luiz says. "So it's… it's a beach-off, that's the deal? Beaching competition?"
Peter|GM: Mercade scowls. "This is -ridiculous-."
Peter|GM: "Sure is, lady."
Lin: "No idea, honestly. The CEO gets to decide the competition."
Hamaris: "Truth to be told"
Lin: "Maybe you can drag him over here and we can sort this out?"
Aurelius: "(Shh, don't let him know that.)"
Hamaris: "Being ridiculous is very fun!"
Aurelius: "Anyway, yeah, we're ready to start, bang this out in a few hours, victory barbeque and flame pit afterwards sound good?"
Mudouma: "You should really try it sometime." Although, honestly, open white dress shirt and a speedo, one of them at least is already halfway down the road.
Peter|GM: Treo barely looks up from his cell-phone. "Luiz. You're in charge." "Why?" "Deep and solemn trust in your leadership." "Uh-huh."
Hamaris: "Hey, no need to be so serious, it's the beach" he has a smile
Aurelius: "Ham's got it in such a short period of time, I'm so proud."
Jorule: "Anyway."
Peter|GM: Luiz gives Treo a look, and then he gives Mercade a look, and then the three of them start strolling down towards the restricted area. "Alright, let's figure out the shape this thing is going to take." He says. "Come on along."
Lin tosses the ball on to the sand before following after them.
Jorule adjust the two sets of sunglasses he's still wearing, and follows along wiht the crowd.
Hamaris looks at the ball, looks at Lin, scratches the back of his head, then looks at Jorule, and follows
Aurelius struts along with the group. Struts across the sand, I tell you.
Peter|GM: After a stroll, the whole pack is gathered into the abhorrent dead zone that is the restricted area, around the CEO's beach chair - replete, as it is, with hired attendants and bodyguards and three separate coolers full of drinks. And a gigantic electric fan sitting right behind it.
Mudouma tromps along to the restricted grounds, confident in the fact that his board shorts are of much more vivid vibrancy than their opponent's.
Jorule grabs another one of those brightly colored drinks with the umbrella in it on the way in.
Lin folds her arms behind her back and lets the mercenary trio sort this one out.
Peter|GM: Treo clears his throat. "These are our terms: We compete in no more than three Amusing Shoreside Diversions for you. We get our pay. That's it."
Hamaris shivers a little bit as they head in. He just heads into there, listening "
Peter|GM: "Sure, whatever." The CEO says. "Do you want me to sign some shit, or…?"
Peter|GM: "That won't be necessary."
Lin: "So, you've drafted up the competitions, right?"
Peter|GM: "Yeah, of course. Volleyball, frog-catching, surfing."
Peter|GM: Treo tugs at the brim of his hat. "Uninspired."
Peter|GM: "Am I paying you for your stupid fucking quips?"
Hamaris: "F-frog-catching?"
Peter|GM: "It's in the budget, yes."
Aurelius grins. "Sounds good."
Hamaris: "That sounds like it's going to be… Problematic"
Peter|GM: "Yeah, one would fucking hope. So anyway, volleyball. Three on three. I'm picking team-not-making-me-break-a-sweat-on-this-shit, so, you know, you three." (The mercenaries nod dutifully.)
Peter|GM: "As for you losers?"
Lin offers a salute. "Count me in."
Peter|GM: Treo clears his throat. "Esteemed Opponents." "Do I have to say that shit?"
Jorule turns to Aurelius. "You know, it just occured to me that we have a *really* high swear word ratio for a feel good event of the summer season."
Peter|GM: "It's in the contract."
Mudouma: "They'll be frog-catching, too. By the law of conservation of froglems, that means that as soon as they start winning, we'll get the upper hand."
Mudouma: "It'll all work out."
Aurelius comments to Jorule. "Y'all do, at least. I'm a saint."
Hamaris crosses his arms, looks at the party "Uhn… I-i'm not really good at this? But I can help"
Aurelius: "And yeah, I'm in for volleyball."
Lin: "Aurelius and I are totally in. Third can be a volunteer." She nods.
Mudouma shrugs, steps forward.
Hamaris looks, then points at- Mudouma who just stepped forward!
Mudouma grins at Hamaris.
Peter|GM: So anyway, the volleyball court - Aurelius, Mudouma and Lin on one side, the three mercenaries on the other. Lin to serve.
Lin winds up before serving the ball to the other side of the court. "We've totally got the frog catching so let's just win this one and call it a day."
Peter|GM: The LT lies on her front to one side of the festivities. "Hey, Jorule. You look bored. Sunscreen my back for me."
Aurelius: "Give 'em that killer serve." He cracks his knuckles, which is just him making the cracking motion and an installed speaker plays crack_knuckles.wav.
Jorule: "How in the world did you even get this job? So lazy." Jorule lazily produces a bottle of lotions, dumps some on LT's back kinda sorta kneels down and rubs it in with a hand.
Mudouma: "(Sunscreening LT's back while watching Lin play beach volleyball. He's good at this game.)"
Peter|GM: "Shh. I'm making you massage my back. That's the -opposite- of listening to you."
Jorule: "Man, if you didn't want to listen to me you wouldn't have called attention to me. You're alreayd dropping things left and right."
Hamaris tilts his head to the side at Mudouma, then looks at LT, he's a little unsure
Peter|GM: "You're right. Jorule, you're fired. Hamaris, step up."
Hamaris blinks "U-uhn… Okay"
Jorule: "Bam." Jorule stands up, dusts his hands off.
Jorule: "Now pay attention to the game."
Hamaris goes over to help out LT. He's not the best at knowing what he's doing, but he can put in some effort. Definitely payin attention to the game too
Lin glances at Aurelius. "… think I hit the ball too high?"
Aurelius: "It's comin'."
Peter|GM: Oops, I forgot to actually read the session.
Jorule shakes his head.
Peter|GM: SO ANYWAY -
Peter|GM: Mercade dashes into position, elbowing Luiz out of the way and deflecting the ball back across the net. Aurelius for the pickup - I don't know, running 70?
Peter|GM: "Almost hit you in the damn head!"
Peter|GM: "Well, I mean, my attention was-" "How was it elsewhere? Pay attention to the game!"
Aurelius zooms forward and bumps it back into the air-
Aurelius rolled 1d100 and got 56 ( Total: 56 ) for 80
Mudouma grins.
Lin stands her ground in the back of the court, nodding to Mudouma.
Peter|GM: And the ball goes arcing back in a vaguely Treo-wards direction.
Peter|GM: A small crowd has gathered about the court - there's a cheer at the sound of the strike, and the CEO, on the opposite edge as LT, rolls his eyes.
Peter|GM: "As for how I got this job," the LT says. "I like to think of it as more of a hobby. But I mean, if you…"
Peter|GM: …and Mercade skids through the sand in front of Treo, managing to barely save the ball from a hit, hitting it back over the net.
Peter|GM: "What the HELL, Treo!" "Hm?"
Peter|GM: "The damn game!"
Mudouma: "It's important to have priorities!"
Peter|GM: Treo slips his cell-phone into a pocket. "Right. Of course. It was just that-" "What?"
Jorule: "This is definitely amateur hour and not professional quality, yeah. As a hobby makes some degree of sense."
Peter|GM: "Luiz, back me up. Was there a distraction?"
Aurelius: "You're up, Mudouma!"
Peter|GM: "Er, yeah, Treo, there was."
Peter|GM: Running 90, Mudouma?
Mudouma takes off for the ball, showboating a little.
Mudouma rolled 1d100 and got 92 ( Total: 92 )
Mudouma trips, DOES A CARTWHEEL…
Mudouma rolled 1d100 and got 35 ( Total: 35 ) for the thing that lets you reroll
Peter|GM: "Okay, like, fill me in. What -was- this distraction? And if you say magic, I-"
Mudouma …comes out of the cartwheel to hit the ball over the net!
Aurelius: "Smooth!"
Lin whistles. "Had me worried there for a second. I mean, losing to a team where the guy is on his cellphone? Embarassing, right?"
Peter|GM: KA-PWOW. Hits like a cannon and Luiz only manages to deflect it into the net.
Hamaris: "Oooh!" he applauds Mudouma
Mudouma bows like he meant to do that all along.
Peter|GM: Luiz tosses the ball to Treo, who sets up the serve - a beautiful, graceful strike, right across the court. Maybe a little bit slow and easy to pick up, but it's also on fire.
Peter|GM: Mercade turns, just a bit - "Wait, you're using magic?"
Peter|GM: "I am a magician. It's my thing."
Aurelius: "Fire? Really?" He shuffles left, jukes right, and leaps up to chop it back across the net!
Peter|GM: Mercade leaps up to deflect - it's a face-to-face battle! Strength 50, Aurelius?
Aurelius rolled 1d100 and got 72 ( Total: 72 ) for 60
Aurelius chops it… too hard? [Scrape By]
[OOC] Peter|GM: Of Course
Peter|GM: There's a puff of sand. Aurelius got the hit.
Peter|GM: The ball, for a moment, is nowhere to be seen.
Peter|GM: Then, there is a rumbling.
Lin glances up at the sky.
Jorule places a hand over his face.
Peter|GM: High, high up in the sky -
Hamaris just stares at the sand in the air "This…"
Peter|GM: The entire construction fleet of zeCORP -
Peter|GM: is covered with blinking red lights, and is drifting out of orbit.
Hamaris: "Did you really just…"
Peter|GM: The careful, telescopic cyborg eye may well notice the volleyball firmly implanted in the weak-point of the mother ship.
Aurelius: "Wait for it."
Peter|GM: A siren sounds, followed by a voice.
Peter|GM: "Please evacuate the planet. Planetary annihilation in thirty minutes. Have a nice day."
Peter|GM: Luiz -bursts out laughing-.
Lin chews at her lip. "What do you reckon the odds are that the ship will spin out of control and land on the 0.01% portion that's the beach and not the swamp?"
Peter|GM: Oh, I don't mean one ship.
Peter|GM: I mean, the -entire fleet-.
Peter|GM: It's a really important weak point!
Mudouma: "Way, way higher than 0.01 percent."
Jorule lowers his hand from his face, gives Aurelius a meaningulf look. Then raises a hand and wobbles it slightly.
Hamaris: "Wooow"
Lin: "We could have just made it a tie game, you know."
Lin: "You just had to use Scrape By."
Jorule: "Well worst comes to worst the frogs get annihilated."
Jorule: "Could be worse."
Aurelius: "Don't admit you weren't the least bit curious on what would happen."
Hamaris: "That always ends up badly"
Peter|GM: The LT stands up.
Mudouma: "At least he didn't, like, crash a car or something, right?"
Peter|GM: "Yup, this is a new one."
Hamaris: "(That didn't have a beach episode, Mudo)"
Lin glances at her waterproof watch. "So. We have about twenty minutes to finish this up and another eight before the planet explodes."
Peter|GM: Treo laughs. "Game in your favor, miss. Shall we catch some frogs?"
Aurelius: "I think that'd be for the best."
Lin offers a nod before making her way towards the swamp.
Hamaris: "Hrm… Well, okay"
Hamaris: "Guess it's going to be a hectic day!"
Jorule: "Sure."
Peter|GM: The swamp - it's actually a nice, fragrant stretch of boardwalked dune marshland, honestly. Dogs are required to be on leash out of respect for sensitive nesting areas.
Peter|GM: An honestly fabulous iridescent blue frog sits a ways ahead up on the board-walk, wearing a tiny white collar - like from a shirt, except without the suit bit - and a red tie.
Peter|GM: Wow, what a good frog.
Peter|GM: Have you guys played the frog catching mini-game before?
Mudouma has not, no.
Aurelius: "That's a good frog."
Peter|GM: It's simple. The object of frog catching mini-game is to catch the frog. Each round of frog-catch, you have the option to either JUKE, ADVANCE, CHARGE or employ MAGIC, if you have sufficient points of edge. Edge is, of course, accrued by outmaneuvering the frog using the previous three options.
Jorule: "You might as well explain. I mean, it's not like we have a time limit or something."
Peter|GM: Whenever you perform a frog catching action, you roll 1d6 and add -
Peter|GM: wait
Peter|GM: there it goes
Peter|GM: shit
Peter|GM: after it
Peter|GM: running 50!
Peter|GM: it's hopping away!
Jorule: "DEAR FROG SIR OR MADAM: IF WE DON'T CATCH YOU YOUR PLANET IS FUCKED." Jorule strolls after the frog.
Lin takes a step back and reaches into her bag to take out her PDA. She starts hitting a few buttons as she watches the others. "Leaving this one to you guys."
Hamaris runs "Hold on! You didn't finish explaining!"
Peter|GM: Jorule, please roll ANIMAL HANDLING 70.
Peter|GM: I mean, it's a frog.
Peter|GM: It's not like it can understand you!
Peter|GM: Probably.
Jorule rolled d100 and got 15 ( Total: 15 )
Hamaris: "Wait, Jorule, you speak Frog?"
Peter|GM: The frog croaks knowingly, and stops in its tracks.
Peter|GM: It turns around.
Peter|GM: It awaits its destiny.
Jorule: "Well, I speak in the ancient tongue of doom and destruction. It get enough across." Jorule continues strolling up to the frong, kneels down to scoop it up.
Peter|GM: The frog jumps out of Jorule's hands onto his arm and then up onto his shoulder, where it steals his sunglasses with a zap of his tongue.
Peter|GM: Time flows like a river, and history repeats.
Peter|GM: THAT'S FROG-CATCH. (3 TURNS: SUPER BONUS) (+500 PTS)
Jorule slides the second pair of sunglasses down from his forehead onto his nose.
Peter|GM: Jorule, please assign +1 to either Juke, Advance, or Charge.
Peter|GM: Just kidding, I don't care.
Jorule doesn't either.
Hamaris blinks
Jorule: "Anywho. Surfing?"
Hamaris: "(I'm a little lost)" he mutters to himself "I-i don't know, I don't remember if we had to get a lot of frogs or just one?"
Peter|GM: Luiz looks down at his - frankly unimpressive - frog.
Peter|GM: "Let's bring these back to the judge."
Jorule nods. Heads judge-way. Waves dismissively at Hamaris.
Hamaris just shrugs and follows Jorule
Aurelius chuckles. "I don't think you could have a more masterful catch than Jorule's."
Peter|GM: So anyway, frog-catching is judged like this.
Peter|GM: Jorule puts his frog down on one frog-platform.
Peter|GM: Luiz puts his frog down onto the other frog-platform.
Peter|GM: Then, the two frog meters fill up.
Peter|GM: Mudouma, please make the sound that frog meters make as they fill up.
Mudouma warbles harmoniously. (It's a hidden talent of his.)
Peter|GM: Yes, definitely. But Luiz doesn't fill all the way up, so it just sort of stops.
Peter|GM: Luiz' meter, I mean.
Peter|GM: Whereas Jorule's reaches to the very top
Peter|GM: whereupon -three fireworks- are set off!
Aurelius: "Boom, boom, ka-POW!"
Jorule: "I was going to lose, but then realized it was a lot less effort to win than to lose gracefully."
Jorule shrugs apologetically to Aurelius.
Peter|GM: The CEO inspects the proceedings. "This is -ridiculous-."
Jorule: "Man, that's what happens when you pick frog catching as an event."
Jorule: "Did you think frog reader meters wouldn't be involve? C'mon now."
Aurelius: "I'm proud of you, Jorule."
Mudouma: "Goblinometers, frogometers. We've got them all, really."
Peter|GM: And the incredible frog turns to the CEO: "If you enter the field of battle with us, you should be prepared for our full arsenal." It ribbits. "That's basic Art of War."
Peter|GM: "Y…you!" The CEO scowls.
Hamaris: "Don't even tell me about goblinometers"
Hamaris is then taken aback by the CEO's words "W-who?!"
Jorule: "That was the frog, Ham. The frog is talking."
Hamaris: "Oh, okay"
Peter|GM: The frog continues: "Did you think your petty power grab would go unnoticed?"
Peter|GM: "We cause problems, after all."
Hamaris: "Does he know the frog?"
Peter|GM: "And no one know what problems we cause."
Jorule: "Well he's trying to demolish their home to build a resort,:
Mudouma: "No, but the frog knows him."
Peter|GM: "Of course I do." The frog says.
Peter|GM: "He's one of ours, after all…"
Peter|GM: "…Not that I know his Three."
Aurelius: "…!!"
Hamaris: "Wait, what?"
Jorule: "…He's a frog?"
Hamaris: "Well, no wonder he's causing problems"
Peter|GM: The CEO grabs his gun and aims it straight at the blue frog. He tries to fire, but -
Peter|GM: The frog ribbits.
Peter|GM: "One. Your gun isn't loaded."
Lin opens her mouth at the scene and pauses.
Peter|GM: The frog ribbits again as Mercade punches him out.
Hamaris raises an eyebrow
Aurelius: "Only a frog could think of a problem as goofy as that resort idea."
Peter|GM: "Two, the contract you attempted to purchase was intercepted at the last second by a man-in-the-middle attack, belonging to me."
Peter|GM: The frog ribbits once again.
Peter|GM: "Thirdly…"
Peter|GM: "A bunch of the Pure of Heart showed up."
Peter|GM: Treo tips his hat to the incredible frog.
Hamaris: "That last one is definitely a problem"
Peter|GM: Luiz speaks up, after a moment. "Are you going to do anything about the…"
Hamaris: "No wonder you guys were all up for beach antics, though"
Jorule: "I'm not a problem, I'm a solution."
Peter|GM: The frog hops away. "Sounds like somebody else's problem to me."
Hamaris looks at Aurelius
Aurelius: "Oh…"
Lin: "On a more serious note though… this still isn't resolving the fact that an entire fleet of space ships are falling towards the planet and is going to wipe you out."
Aurelius: "Alright, alright, I'll do something about the ball and the ship and stuff. Hang on."
Aurelius walks back over to the volleyball court.
Hamaris goes along with Aurelius "You know he can't quite do anything to the place anymore without his fleet"
Hamaris: "Now we just kinda gotta make it not destroy everything"
Hamaris: "I think Aurelius has an idea"
Jorule: "We do not, strictly speaking, need to do that."
Peter|GM: The L.T throws Aurelius the ball.
Peter|GM: I mean, another volleyball.
Peter|GM: Not the same one.
Peter|GM: That'd be ridiculous.
Aurelius: "Right, so, I made this problem with a volleyball."
Jorule: (The one Lin had earlier. Obviously.)
Aurelius: "So now I need to fix it with one."
Aurelius throws the ball into the air. He pulls back really deeply with his fist, his elbow touching the sand.
Lin glances at her watch. "Got about ten minutes left before they reach the point of no return in orbit and start falling."
Jorule: "I have a solution to that."
Jorule: "It's pretty dumb though."
Aurelius: "It just needs a bit more of a push to blow up in orbit."
Aurelius: "Or be flung off to another planet.
Aurelius: "Let's see-"
Aurelius: "-what happens!"
Aurelius aces the ball with all the fury of everyone who's ever failed a skill check when it mattered, and most importantly, when it didn't.
Peter|GM: There it goes.
Peter|GM: You know, I'm pretty sure someone once said that when you do everything -perfectly- right, people won't be sure if you've done anything at all.
Peter|GM: That's an episode of Futurama, right?
Peter|GM: Anyway, it's not really applicable, here.
Peter|GM: Aurelius, would you like to roll a d100?
Jorule gives Lonely Tails another look.
Aurelius rolled 1d100 and got 99 ( Total: 99 ) for I love rolling d100as
Jorule: "I don - hold on dying laughing."
Aurelius adds one more to that fury.
Peter|GM: Far, far out on the horizon -
Peter|GM: There's a shine like the sun, right in front of the approaching fleet.
Peter|GM: The volleyball.
Peter|GM: You know, the zeCORP construction fleet are in fact crewed
Peter|GM: by a sort of cybernetic life-form, grown in vats, whose huge cable-tendrils clog every inch of their ships. The only crew they need, every inch of them except for their cephalopodine core is one part appendage, sensor, neuron and wire-
Peter|GM: And as the shockwave of the impact strikes the core of the mother-Pilot,
Peter|GM: each of these tendrils flex in deepest hate, rage, and sorrow.
Peter|GM: And it is this instinctive ripping, too powerful to stop, that shreds each of their ships to shreds
Peter|GM: as the volleyball pushes forth through them, forcing them all into the developing gravity well-
Peter|GM: and carrying them out of orbit.
Peter|GM: This gravity well continues burning, faster and faster, shining like a comet -
Peter|GM: spectacularly missing Rejikon IV and the transgalactic highway -
Peter|GM: and yes, even the home-planet of the Chronoregime -
Lin: "I swear to god if that lands on Planet Liberty hitting the activate button on Smooth Mind's weaponry arsenal you are so fired."
Hamaris: "Come on, one cannot fail that spectacularly"
Jorule: "No no, it's."
Aurelius: "Shh shh wait-"
Jorule: "Even better. Though sadly inapplicable."
Aurelius: "Wait for it."
Peter|GM: And
Peter|GM: it's
Peter|GM: gone.
Peter|GM: Don't worry.
Jorule wipes a tear fomr his eye as he stops laughing.
Peter|GM: We won't be seeing that again!
Aurelius sighs.
Mudouma: "W… wow."
Aurelius: "Of course we won't."
Jorule: "Suffice to say, this has been the most dumb thing I have ever been involved in, though."
Hamaris: "I-it sorta has"
Lin glances at Jorule. "Challenge accepted!"
Mudouma: "That was honestly pretty impressive."
Jorule: "Lin, I can make it so you not only don't grow up, but shrink."
Hamaris: "Certainly didn't think it'd work like that"
Lin: "Look, if you want to find someone to follow you around and call you onii-chan that's your own problem."
Jorule flexes a hand open and closed a few times.
Aurelius: "I'm not touching that one."
Jorule grabs Lin by the waist, hoists her into the air and makes for the dead zone.
Mudouma: "Daaamn."
Lin flails around a bit clearly irritated. "Put me down, geeze!"
Jorule: "Don't worry,"
Hamaris blinks, and follows after "W-wait, Jorule, what are you doing?"
Jorule: Jorule comes to a stop in front of a roughly Lin sized pit that was dug when no one was looking. "That was the plan. It wouldn't be a beach episode if someone wasn't buried in sand." Jorule drops her into the hole, then shoves sand to fill it up.
Mudouma: "(Mating ritual in their culture, I think.)"
Hamaris: "W-w-what?!" at Mudo
Mudouma: "(You… haven't picked up on the…)"
Mudouma: "(I mean…)"
Lin: "When the hell did you even have time to dig this? You were swimming."
Jorule: "LT skips over a lot of details."
Jorule: "I plan ahead." Jorule flourishes a hand vaguely.
Jorule: "Anyway." He dusts his hands off, turning to Aurelius. "Are we supposed to do something witht he CEO now, or…?"
Mudouma: "His intricately laid plans are so…" …he trails off. "Fuck, I forget what it's called."
Jorule: "So clever I amaze even myself."
Hamaris: "Something like that"
Hamaris: "Yes, that!"
Aurelius: "Of course, Jorule."
Aurelius: "Reprise the theme song-" Jets shoot out of his feet, and he goes streaking across the sand!
Aurelius: "-and roll the credits!" His hand, high above his head, wielding a cream pie.
And he soars over to the CEO, and pies him, right in the face.
Jorule pulls out Lin's phone, hits a button to make a song play.
Mudouma: "Yeah!!!"
Peter|GM: POW!
Peter|GM: And just as the CEO is getting up, a bunch of surfers pick him up and carry him over to the water, and hurl him in.
Lin: "Hey! I didn't say you could go through my stuff you jerk."
Hamaris just holds back laughing
Peter|GM: Then, the footage is reversed, and it happens again, sort of sped up.

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